One: Buy a Taiwanese teddy bear that is symbolic of all of the sacrifices that only the best of us have been brave enough to endure in the name of freedom. While running through a barrage of bullets while ankle deep in blood, piss, and shit, these guys have shown time and time again how they will continue to sacrifice themselves for a country that will marginalize them by not even providing them with any jobs or opportunities when they return. Not even the job of stuffing a bunch of stupid fucking bears.
Two: Light off some Chinese fireworks. Because what our soldiers are always fighting for is the freedom of Americans to send jobs to countries that want to destroy us so that we can give them the money to do it.
Three: Shake a veteran’s remaining hand while conveniently forgetting that the dick lickers that you have helped put in office have been consistently fucking them by cutting their funding during wartime and telling them that “As you know, you go to war with the Army you have.” The wartime equivalent of, “you can’t always get what you want.”
Four: Make yourself feel better about getting hard while showering with your buddy that one time by telling homosexuals that they are way too gay to be saving your flabby ass.
Five: Return to treating homeless vets like shit collecting on your shoes on Tuesday. Don’t forget to tell them that we’re so broke that we have to slash $75 million that was slated to help homeless Vets. Or, if they ask for funds from the GI, tell them to go suck it, like Johnny “Orange hue” Boner did a couple of years ago.
Just remember to wave your plastic flag in their face like a true patriot while you’re voting for all of the assholes who want to grease them up and ride them hard like Sarah Palin rides into our nightmares.
Political Spaghetti 
Yup, served my country so Palin’s kid could get knocked up by a moron who then became a celebrity for knocking her up.